Asara B'Tevet Redux

So, today is Asara B'Tevet, when we fast in memory of the siege of Jerusalem by the Assyrians (I think). But that doesn't really jive with me. So today I'm fasting in solidarity with people whose homes and cities are under threat.

Off to see the renewable energy initiatives in South Hebron with JStreet now!

Thinking Positively

I've decided to make a list of things I like here. It can never hurt to count one's blessings, right?

The tofu is so firm and browns so nicely

Flowers are still in bloom

I don't have to explain to my boss about Jewish holidays or use vacation days to observe them

Bus drivers saying "shavua tov" on Sunday morning

New, amazing friends

Strawberries are in season in December

Giant salads

I'm getting shockingly little harassment for wearing a Red Sox kippah and pants during davening

It's no longer so hot that I'm confident I will kill someone

Cats everywhere!

My blanket is super snuggly

Walking in the middle of side streets

Fruit trees in the city

My body is an average size and shape

Getting paid in dollars and grocery shopping in shekels

Relatively short distances between very different climates and scenery

Giant bottle recycling cages on the street

AND

Lego gangsters in Tel Aviv!!

Picture this

Good morning, blogland. I'm in my freezing apartment in what passes for winter in Jerusalem, and I've decided it's time to share some photos! There's lots of intense feelings about politics and religion swirling in my head, but I need to sit with them and decide what's improper to put online. In the mean time, here's a bunch of pictures from my travels up north.

Caesaria

Caesaria is an ancient city on the coast of the Mediterranean. Here's your history lesson. I'm just here for the pretty pictures.

Fishing with ruins in the background.

From an ancient doorway to looking at modern smokestacks. I love me some ironic juxtapositions!

It's the Mediterranean!

Mediterranean: now with more umbrellas!

We were in Caesaria while the fire was burning in the Carmel. This is the smoke from it. We were about 45 minutes away on Day 2 of the fire. Don't ask if I could smell it; my nose is now purely ornamental.

Tel Aviv

We went to Tel Aviv twice in one week and, let me tell you, I loved it. It's a city! With tall buildings! And dirt! And without an oppressive atmosphere of piety and violence! There is more Tel Aviv in my future.

Jerusalem doesn't seem to have sculptures or much public art and it's starting to make me crazy. So when I saw this upside down guy on the entrance to a hotel, I squealed.

I AM BICYCLE. HEAR ME ROAR!

I have some very strong feelings about Israelis and their nasty littering habit. Here's a planter on the deck of a seaside restaurant. Why do people need to put their glasses in the dirt and why doesn't the staff take them out? Grossness.

"Would you eat your dog? Meat = Murder!" Love it!

This cat is a fucking ninja and bent that fence with one paw.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." But in Yiddish!

Speaking of Inigo Montoya... Dueling messiahs!

The Holocaust memorial in the Diaspora Museum. Kinda intense, right? (Sorry it's not funny.)

And now we get to see my explorations with iPhoto. Here's the sunset down the street.

And the very same sunset over the Sea, with a hansom cab and a fountain. I'm pretending that the palm trees are oak trees and the Sea is Central Park. It's good to be back on 59th and 5th..

Holiday Sampler

Chappy Channukkah everybody!

In Jerusalem, the streets are covered in Hanuka decorations and yet it's still 85 degrees out. Amazing.

Miss You Most (at Christmas Time)

You might say to me, EMN, what do you miss this Holiday Season most of all? It's your first winter away from the Northeast US urban centers, and you must be feeling out of sorts. What is it? Is it the Christmas carols? Is it the shopping? The snow? The ice skating? Being told by gentiles to "have a happy holiday" when it sounds like, "I hope you don't feel bad that you're Jewish this time of year..."?

Honestly, dear readers, this time of year, when there's donuts and latkes in every store, what I miss most of all is my gall bladder.

Jews Write the Best Songs

I would now like to publish, with permission, a song my dad wrote me in a sixth grade lunch note. To the famous tune of "Oh Chanuka..."

Oh Chanukka, Oh Chanukah,

A festival of greed.

We give our children presents --

Nothing that they need.

Gather 'round the table,

I'll give you a toy.

It's made out of plastic

For the girls and boys.

One Barbie.

Two Barbies.

And Kens on into the night.

Some are electronic,

And some are chronical-

ly broken, but that's alright!

Some are electronic,

And some are chronical-

ly broken, but that's alright...

Did you hear the one-

My favorite Hannukah joke is as follows.

Moses is taken to see modern day America by Rabbi Akiva. They come to town during Channukah. Moses sees all these chanukiot in windows, dreidels in stores, signs everywhere celebrating the holiday! "Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah!"

He's amazed! He and Rabbi Akiva talk about how this is such a minor holiday and the Jews are celebrating with such pride!

He exclaims with joy, "If this is what they do for Chanukkah, I can't wait to see Shavuot!"

But seriously folks

Steve Martin is my personal prophet for this holiday season. And he has a special message for us about the true meaning of Christmas.

Funny videos

(My apologies for the poor video quality. Who would have thought NBC would have such strong copyright enforcement? It took me forever to find a link to steal!)

Bulky

It seems like Israelis love to pile things. New things. Old things. Heavy things. Fragile things. Things for sale. Things for trash. It doesn't matter!

Piles, stacks, rows, and sets of things everywhere!

SAND!

CONCRETE!

Maybe Ikea's bookshelves aren't actually so high quality...

Eat more kale!

Be careful!

Piles of Yiddin!

Timing

I've figured it out! In Israel, 1 minute means 10 seconds. 5 minutes means 2 minutes. 20 minutes means 45 minutes. 3 hours means 2 days. And tomorrow means next week.

Anyone else feeling a bit disoriented?

Wrapped Up

I've been looking around this city and wondering something. Is there any vine imagery in Judaism? Not grapes. Vines.

I think vines could be a beautiful metaphor. They start from just a nub and they weave, wend, and wind their way around whatever they're near.

May you be like a vine, concentrating on the journey, beautifying whatever you touch, and surrounding yourself with your roots.

May you be a vine on the Eitz Chayim of Torah, always wrapping around the tradition, gaining strength, and finding new vantage points along your path.

Is there any of this in the tradition? Or do I have a new idea? (I'd be shocked if I did.)

May you provide shelter and shade on others' journeys home.

Women Without Hats

I have now been happily married for a whole year! AND, I've only been married for one year, so that's a pretty good track record!

Now, I've felt funny in religious settings for a long time, because I'm frequently the only woman who wears a tallit and kippah and pants, but now I'm funny in a different way. I don't have any marriage-related head covering. In fact, I'm even wearing the same kippah that I did before I got married.

To be honest, I've barely acquired any clothing since acquiring a husband. I've got a ring and I wear that very faithfully, but I've decided that it's the thing I wear to signify my married status.

But then how will men know that I'm not sexually available to them??

Easy. I won't sleep with them. Hell, I won't even kiss them!! (I'm a total extramarital prude.)

Simply put, I don't think that the visibility of my hair is a marker of my sexual availability. Granted, I do have very nice hair, but -- just like the rest of my body -- just because it's visible in public doesn't mean it's up for public use.

(Maybe people should think of me like a gorgeous house in prime real estate. If it's that nice in this area, it must be spoken for. Right?)

But also, I think modesty is not really a prime concern of mine. While I do dress more modestly than I did when I was a single girl running around New York City, this is mostly a function of me being 28 instead of 21. And there's a difference between dressing to attract attention and dressing to deflect it. I want a middle ground.

But isn't there something different about being married? Don't you want to signify that? Honestly, since I've been with LMN, I've dressed pretty much the same, both before we were married and afterwards. Once I was monogamous, that was it. Getting married didn't increase my level of monogamy. Why should it change the signals I send out to others about their chances with me?

(Now I'm not saying marriage didn't change anything. Marriage changed my feelings of commitment in the long term, but it didn't change whether or not anyone else had a chance with me while I was with LMN. If I wanted to be with someone else while we were together, we would have broken up before anything happened. Therefore, monogamy levels are stable both before and after the chuppah.)

I tried wearing my hair up in this crazy city for about 1 mile of walking. I was going to meet LMN and I was wearing a long skirt, just kicks, and I had a scarf. So I thought to myself, what would happen if I put this on my head?! Right here! In public! So I did. I tied all my hair up in it and walked down the street, all beskirted and beheaded. (Wait; that's not right...)

And what did I think to myself? Oh goodness, I hope no one sees me. Because I was scared that someone would think that this was a religious expression instead of a sociological experiment. And I'm really committed to not expressing myself religiously that way. But I wore it anyway.

What was it like? It was HOT! Like, keeping much more heat on my body than I like. And my ears were covered. It made me feel like I should neither be seen (covering myself) nor should I hear anyone. Wouldn't it just be easier if I stayed home? And it was a subtle, but continual, pressure squeezing my head at all times. I think that if I stayed like that, it would increase my baseline crabbiness about 50%. And that's too much.

So, all in all, the head covering was not a pleasant sensation. And coupled with disagreeing with it on an ideological level, it was not the beginning of a new personal style.

Who else agrees with me on this issue?

Let's talk about Willow Smith. Willow is certainly not sexually available. (She's 10 years old, you pervert.) But Willow is proud of who she is, what she likes, and how she looks. And she's not afraid to let her hair fly!

Sing it, Willow!

Willow Smith - Whip My Hair (Official Video)
- Watch more Entertainment Videos at Vodpod.

Hilarity

Now, I know some people like dogs. And some people think dogs are adorable.

While I respect your right to have that opinion, I have to say that I like cats much more. It's just how I was raised.

With that in mind, I bring you a stupid little video that left me crying with laughter when I should have been enforcing federal regulations.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Who is a Jew

My ulpan (Hebrew immersion class) teacher and I were talking about Israeli laws and who counts for what and she assigned me to write an essay about who I think should count as a Jew. So I thought about it. I walked myself to the Old City and put my mind to the question. And then I had an epiphany.

I don't care.

The question wasn't, What should the Rabbanut in Israel do. Nor was it, What should American Rabbis do. Nor was it, Who should count in a minyan in your shul. It was, Who do you think is Jewish.

And I don't care.

I really only had one criterion for who counts as a Jew that was actually within my jurisdiction; I wanted to marry a Jew. (Why that was essential is another question I haven't explored.) And now I've gone and done that, so I can check that off my list.

So, other than that, why should I care to parse who is a Jew? No one is going to hire me to be their rabbinic authority. No one needs my rulings on the matter. (Whether anyone needs anyone's ruling on the matter is also a question I'm not exploring here.) No one needs me to make the policies at their congregation, perform their marriages or bnei mitzvah, or anything else. I'm just not anyone's professional or lay arbiter on the matter.

(Instead, call me when you have a question about the ramifications of HIPAA on medical research.)

Therefore, I don't care.

But, EMN, what if you're in a minyan and there's only 10 people there and someone might have dubious Jew credentials? Would you act like there's a minyan? What if they want to read Torah? What if they want an aliyah? What if they want to lead the service? And what if it's Yom Kippur?!

You know what? I don't care. I think the overall ramifications of someone davening alongside me whose Judaism is called into question -- who may have had a conversion that someone doesn't like, or a non-Jewish mother, or whose maternal great great grandmother had a conversion that someone didn't like -- are nil. I don't actually think something transformative happens when there's 10 people who are Glatt Kosher Jews. I don't think my prayers go anywhere different if there's someone in a leadership role of any kind of questionable heritage. I'm not sure they go anywhere, but I bet they go to the same place regardless of who is being counted in the room.

Do I think that God is somewhere and doing a background check on everyone davening, and is FREAKING OUT when someone comes up a bit fuzzy? No. I think that if we have a God who likes to micromanage, there are some bigger fish to fry. This doesn't need that much input.

That's my revelation. I simply no longer have to wonder if I think someone is Jewish enough for something. I'm off that committee.

Phew!

The beat of the city

I was sitting in the park, watching people go by, and I heard a drum beat. I thought to myself, "Man, that guy's headphones are too loud. He's going to destroy his ears!"

But I noticed that the guy with the headphones was not the guy with the drum beat.

Nah. It was just this guy walking through the park in Jerusalem in the middle of the playing a tambourine to himself.

Sure.

Shatter

Do you ever feel like this?

Cracked.

Shattered.

Not yet fallen apart.

Held up by something mysterious.

What force is keeping you together?

Surface tension?

Inertia?

Mysterious glue, somehow inserted in advance, anticipating your weak spots?

What will become of you?

Will someone flick at your wounds and send you careening apart?

Maybe you'll remain in place, different from the wholeness around you and yet retaining the same shape.

Or perhaps someone will notice you, find your cracks distressing, or alluring, and alert the authorities. And you will be

Replaced.

But you're not useless, you see.

You provide a new perspective.

When people see you, they don't look through you.

They can't.

They see you.

They see you.

And when they try to get past that, you have power.

You can take the world,

Take what we're used to,

And break it up into tiny little chunks;

Pre-chewed, like mama used to.

And suddenly, where there had been none, there are now boundaries.

Separations.

And they become as important as

Or more than

The view just beyond the lines.

Look at all that you can do with just the right amount of pressure.

You're a brand new you.

Brief Comfort

Oy vey. This is not good.

But here's my solace. Remember when the progressives were in charge of the House and they had all these great ideas and they got stalled in the Senate? Well, now the conservatives (to put it generously) can have all these ideas they love and they can ALSO get stalled in the Senate!

Now, I'm not saying gridlock is a good idea. But it might be the better option here.

Oy!

And now, KITTENS!!

I know. You love cats with their tongues stuck out. How much cuter is this cat than John Boehner?

Tiny little kitten in the trash pile by a construction site. So teensy!

(May the Republican power in the House be as big and scary as this kitten.)

And here's a quick diagram about our political state.

Here's an adorable little kitten. Let's name her Hopey Changey. And here's a dog. Let's call him Goppy.

The cat sees a big scary dog. The dog feels big and scary. What neither of them realizes (because they're not very smart) is that the dog has a big plastic muzzle on.

But the dog sees the kitten. The kitten tries to look scary, but we all know she's terrified. And Goppy is confident despite not being able to say anything clearly (due to the muzzle and reduced intellect). And....

Oh no! Hopey Changey has hopped into a nearby tree!! She's so scared and little and high off the ground! How will she ever get down?

Indeed, Hopey Changey. How will you?

So, do you feel better now?

In the Old City

WWJD?

Vote!

Vote vote vote vote vote vote vote!




Vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote!!!!


VOTE!!

Sisters!

Hooray for having sisters!

This is a great article for anyone with sisters! Sisters and Happiness -- Understanding the Connection - NY Times

How do people without sisters feel about it, though?

Pretty

I need more slam poetry in my life.

Travel Advice

Hey world,

I'm very new to traveling on my own. I have a week in January when I could go somewhere. The tentative plan is to go to Paris with a dear friend, but her schedule is tighter than mine. People talk like it's often awesome to fly into one place take fabulous European transit to another place, and then fly back home from there. Maybe I could spend some time in Paris with her and then go elsewhere alone. I might want to do this, but I simply have no idea how to plan such a thing efficiently. How do I go about figuring that out?

Thanks, world!

1000 Words on Ambivalence

It’s been one month. I feel like I’m on the 8th date with some guy who everyone said would be perfect for me. Years of build up. “Oh my goodness! You HAVE to meet this one. He’s just for you!” And now here we are, together at another café, on another walk, taking another bus. I’m not swooning. I even get a bit cranky when he calls.
He’s a little handsy. He orders for me in restaurants. He’s a bit pushy. He doesn’t really like how I dress. And yet I seem to still be on these dates.
Now, don’t get me wrong. He’s not so ugly, though he’s not quite my type. He’s not mean to me – he’s certainly never hit me – but I feel like there’s this aggressiveness to him. While he says I’m right for him, I don’t like how he treats his brothers and it makes me a bit worried about how he’d treat me in the long term. All in all, it’s doesn’t feel like love is in the air.

No, I’m not talking about LMN. (The state of our union is strong.) I’m talking about Israel. While I did have to break up with NYC to be with him, we’ve agreed that we’re still allowed to see other cities while we’re together.

The start to this year has been neither as bad as I feared nor as good as other people seemed to expect. People seem so excited to learn about this year, like it’s an amazing gift to get to spend a year in Israel. Like Israel is this exceptional place that is both the spiritual and ethnic center of our people AND a really fun place to live. It’s like if Constitution Hall, Lexington and Concord, the World Trade Center, Mount Rushmore, and Disney Land were all in Las Vegas.

But I’m just not so sure this is love.

Now, I’ve decided that I get to decide how unhappy I am for this year. Happiness doesn’t have to be a state that either exists or doesn’t exist inside me. So I’m working on it, especially since being happy where I am is one of my strengths. But, ummm, this is going to take some work. With a bunch of effort, I’ve gotten myself up to a pretty solid ambivalence.

I’m trying to figure why people who seem to LOVE Israel do. What’s the A-MAZ-ING part? I’ve heard lots of hubbub about the food. Now, I’m not starving but I don’t get the appeal. I’m thinking that a lot of it has to do with meat and kashrut. If you’re a big meat eater and/or you only eat in kosher restaurants, Israel must be great! There’s all this meat and you can eat anywhere! That’s exceptional freedom.
But I eat out vegetarian anywhere. So the food is not much different than what I can get in Boston. Granted, the falafel is better and there’s all these pastries, but I try to watch my calories and have no gall bladder; how much oily food can I really consume before the thrill is not only gone, but is replaced by deep dissatisfaction? Also, I’m a cheap-ass mofo (technical term), and I just don’t want to spend lots of money eating out all the time.
But EMN, there’s the SHUK! So many fresh vegetables!! Yes. It’s very nice. I’m purchasing them and cooking with them. But is this different from my CSA?

But, EMN, it’s beautiful! The rolling hills, the expansive dessert, the Jerusalem Stone buildings!
Well, while I won’t deny these things exist, they’re not really my cup of tea. Sure, it’s amazing that the desert is sustaining life. Sure, it’s sort of fun to be able to see all these houses in the mountains. Sure, my mind is a bit blown to think about how old this all is. But it’s not my favored aesthetic. I miss the Art Deco skyscrapers in Manhattan and the Painted Lady Victorian houses in Boston. I like seeing grass and not wondering if it’s really appropriate because of all the water it takes. And I’m getting wistful thinking that all the leaves are changing in New England without me. I’ve gone to Beer Sheva three times in the past 5 days and I’m watching all this desert go by. This is why we’re fighting?! I feel like it looks like the surface of the Moon. (Though, I guess if we could sustain mediocre cities on the moon, that would be worth fighting for. Lord knows we’re going to need them…)

But there’s so many Jews, EMN! Isn’t it amazing to be around so many Jews? Ummmm, only sort of. It kinda gives me the willies (another technical term). I’m at a bus stop right now and the wall is covered with posters saying the Rebbe is the messaiah and spraypaint saying that Rav Kahane was right. Being in close proximity to a critical mass of these Jews makes me feel safer?!
Some people talk about how amazing Shabbat is in Jerusalem, but I think I’m least enthused about that day. That’s the day when everything is reserved for being religious. And I’m not sure I like having a day where the Religious people and I lose the secular common ground that we have in the shuk or on the bus. We’ve peeled away the layers of commerce and are left with only our differences -- I’m sorry – our lovely diversity that they want to celebrate with shame and condemnation of my practice.
Sure, I’ve found nice places to daven. I’ve found pits of safety and comradery. But I know I can’t daven in my tallit and tfillin my front yard like I did in Boston. I’m not interested in adding shouting to Shacharit.

I know I could work to change things, and I very well might. But I don’t see why quitting my job, putting my schooling on hold, and leaving my comfortable life was such an exciting prospect. Now I get to have a year to be somewhat uncomfortable while fighting for equality! Is that the A-MAZ-ING experience people have been talking about?

(This post has been sponsored by Socioeconomic Privilege, Cultural Capital, and the letters K, V, E, T, C, and H.)

Getting Better

I'm obsessed with the It Gets Better Project. The videos are captivating.

If I were still an American Studies major, I'd write a thesis on the changing media of support and pride in the beginnings of the AIDS Quilt and the It Gets Better Project.

Love the It Gets Better Project? Post your favorite video in the comments!

Learn from our gay elders!

Ulpan

You know what I've learned in Ulpan today?

I don't have that many siblings.

Israelis and Palestinians both gave up land for the Separation Wall and everyone is suffering. But the idea that it'll create lots of rage and it will bubble up and explode is not a problem, because the wall is blocking. There won't be problems if there's a wall in between.

The American political situation doesn't have any real problems. There's barely any politics there! Everything is easy in America!!

Also some Hebrew.

Morning Musings

-- My spoils from one trip to the shuk. It's good to have a Grandma Cart!

-- I saw a literal cat fight yesterday. There was squealing and flailing and several others ran from across the street for backup. Though I try to not get scared by such things, I'll admit I crossed the street and avoided eye contact.

-- I got to Beer Sheva all by myself! After meetings during the day, my boss drove me back to Jerusalem but he didn't have time to drive me home. So he dropped me in a part of town I didn't know and I walked myself home without a map. It was a fantastically empowering time to gain my own bearings over the city. Total distance from there to the friend's house for dinner? About 4.3 miles.

View Larger Map

-- Walking alone, with my camera, really helps me get control of a city. It's how I learned to love New York. I would decide to take the evening to wander home from whatever office I was at -- 28th and 7th, 18th and 5th, 50th and Madison, 50th and 5th, 98th and Madison -- and just find my way to the UWS. Granted in NYC it's not as much a question of If I'd get there, but How. That's how I learned most of Central Park. Just me and my camera.

-- I'm taking Ulpan classes. They're one-on-one Hebrew classes, 3 hours a day for ten days. It's the more intensive, more expensive option, but I think it will actual produce Hebrew knowledge! I impressed myself by starting in level 3+. When the grading sheet only goes up to 4, that's not bad!

While I've been really hesitant to speak with people I know in Hebrew, when I'm in a shorter term conversation (asking directions, buying food, etc), I'm getting much better at using only Hebrew. And when my very sweet teacher speaks to me in Hebrew, I'm right there with her! So let's all raise our glasses to me being awesome at Hebrew three weeks from now.

-- From a garden store in Baka. Close up, cacti and coral have a lot in common. I'm looking forward to the family scuba diving vacation this December.

-- I've still got lots of feelings from my trip to Bethlehem, but I'm not sure I'm going to post them here. This might be too public a forum for such a contentious topic.

I will say that I wish the Israel narrative my Jewish Day Schools taught me had discussed Palestinians. Do schools now address this or are they still invisible? It's really embarrassing to think of. It's as if you could go all the way through American high school and never learn about Native Americans. How is that an appropriate education? Especially once you're at the high school level and are being challenged to deal with issues of moral complexity and discomfort; why didn't I learn multiple sides of the issues?

-- When I think Obama, I certainly think of pizza, falafel, and supermarkets!

-- Listening to WBUR streaming on the radio does amazing things for my blood pressure. It's a slice of home and comfort.

But please stop giving weather reports for Boston. I'd kill for 45 and rainy by this point. I'm actually deeply relieved that it's only going to be in the 80's today.

And for those of you who want to tell me that I moved to the Middle East and this is normal, I tell you that the Israelis I've been speaking to (since I've got coworkers and all) say this is deeply unseasonable.

-- Really?! Mickey Mouse?

-- I'm going to mail our absentee ballots today. MAKE SURE TO VOTE IN THE MIDTERMS!! There's a ton of kooks running for office and some of them might be on your ballot! I know the Democrats are a bunch of lilly livered wimps, but they're our only chance at progress. If we lose the majorities in Congress we're stuck for years.

-- Luxury in Israel. The Waldorf currently has no interior walls.

-- Was I supposed to wait until after noon to eat ice cream?? Oops!

-- I asked a merchant at the shuk if I could have 1/4 of a bunch of basil. He looked at me like I was nuts and then gave it to me. What did he charge? Nothing!

-- I had a lovely conversation with a Palestinian man who was baking at a bakery yesterday. He offered me his phone number. When I realized that he hadn't recently written it down and just kept the slip in his pocket to offer, I said No, thank you.

-- And now I'll leave you with one more photo.

-- How could I resist? Eggplant Man was adorable.

Far 2 Legit

Ladies and gentlemen,

This woman has dressed up for your viewing pleasure.

Yes. You are seeing ankle-length harem pants with cargo pockets worn without irony at the end of the workday.

But don't worry about them being unflattering. They have pinstripes. Oh so slimming.

Walled In

I have loved New York City. Of all of its charms, one that hit me most deeply was its buildings. The skyscrapers vertically proclaiming hubris and ambition were like Cupid's arrows to me. I saw them as brilliantly decorated, meticulously planned vessels for efficient layering of potential. Each floor was another set of people, each with a life and a dream. The towers, stacked neatly down the avenues, felt like gift wrapped packages to humanity; our futures lay budding inside.

With an outlook like this, it's no wonder I loved walls. The solid slabs reaching into the heavens are a crucial conveyor of floors and ceilings. Without the floors, you can't stack the people. So when I would look up in Manhattan and see the sky carved into neat rows and boxes, I'd smile thinking of all the benefits these walls gave us.

Now I'm not so sure. I've just seen a wall that's energetically decorated by the masses and dividing up the sky in straight lines, but it has brought me the gift of fear instead of excitement. The wall separating Palestinians from Israelis in the West Bank is the opposite of all that I loved in New York. What cruelty is it to build a wall with no floors? A wall that does not support people? A wall that prevents expansion, creatively, and progress, instead of bolstering it?

I'm surprised that a wall like this -- a wall that does not hold a building, does not support stories -- seems to block out the sky stronger than any ceiling could.

Musings

-- I can't believe it's Hammer Time in Jerusalem. How many harem pants do I need to see before I break out my mid-90's moves?

-- Streaming NPR while at home makes me feel much calmer. I'm not up to reading the Israeli news yet because I don't want to get too furious too soon.

-- EMN, what happened to your face? Your lip is puffy.

Well, I was poking my head into a coffee shop. The plate glass door had been propped open, so I just stuck my face in. Before I knew it, my face collides with the doorframe! Apparently a man biking down the sidewalk was trying to dodge the door and the sukkah and simply couldn't do both. So he knocked the door shut onto my head. And this is how I came to deeply connect with the door frame. Luckily, the swelling went down significantly and is pretty much gone.

-- I figured out how to make the ants go away. Composting!! Now that there's no food in our trash, we have many fewer ants. Maybe the product I sprayed in the corners, DeBugger Effective, had something to do with it too.

-- My computer is still broken, so I have to use LMN's. While it's annoying, I've boiled down the feelings to being upset about sharing. Really, EMN?! You can't just share?

I'm learning...I'm learning...

-- I still like seeing all the cats here. That's how I know I'm not a real Jerusalemite. About half the cats look like my childhood pet, so that makes me happy. But I can't tell if it was a baby or a cat wailing on my block for the past ten minutes. In Jerusalem, I'm not sure either species is domesticated.

-- If I lived in this climate and wore that much clothing, I'd be angry and territorial too. "Don't come near me! Don't touch me! Don't even go near somewhere I might want to go later! AARRGHH!"

(I think the key to the peace process is little less tznius, some ice cream, and a massage.)

-- The It Gets Better Project is amazing. Let's give bullied kids (queer and not) some hope! http://www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject

I'm having trouble avoiding watching the videos all day. They're so powerful!

It's a beggar! It's a drunk! NO! It's Corner Man!

This is the ongoing saga of Corner Man.

Our fearless protagonists, EMN and LMN, have just moved to their posh enclave in Jerusalem. During their first day, they were exploring the main drag which was in the throes of Sukkot preparation. As on many corners, on Our Corner was a man selling date palm branches to put on top of people's sukkot. He was just standing there, hocking his wares, when a fellow from across the street rushed over carrying a bucket of soapy water and he threw the entire contents onto the legs of this salesman. SPLASH! A bit of a yelling, some gestures, and the merchant vacated the corner.

The splashing assailant has not left that corner since. And that's how he earned the name Corner Man!

Since then, EMN and LMN have seen Corner Man in many poses. Sometimes he's smoking. Sometimes he's drinking coffee. Sometimes he has headphones and sometimes earplugs. He's never schnorring for money. He never seems intoxicated. He has nothing to sell. What does he do?

EMN's favorite, of course, was when Corner Man was across the street sawing the legs off a handsome upholstered chair. It soon became clear that he was using the amputee chair as a bench reinforced. He spent the rest of the day sitting in his chair on his bench.

Corner Man has noticed EMN noticing him. And today he could not take the romantic tension any longer. Corner Man has confessed his love!

(Now, EMN's Hebrew is not spectacular, but Jewish Day School certainly taught how to say, "I love you.")

What else will happen in the ongoing saga? Will Corner Man defile more furniture? Will he demonstrate an occupation? Will he confess his love to another woman or stay true to our heroine? Stay tuned...

I'm here!

Hello, dear readers!

I've made it to Jerusalem and am trying out blogging. If you're reading this, thanks for patronizing my humble blog site. I'm not 100% sure what the content will be yet, so I'm gonna throw a bunch of ideas out and see what sticks.

First, some musings on life since we got here:

Our apartment is working out well. We've gotten and unpacked Big Sister's dishes. It was like Christmas! In order to make room for all the dairy stuff, we've put our landlords' meat dishes in Big Sister's boxes and now the kitchen is all dairy. (I'm so lucky that I managed to find a Nice Jewish Boy From New Jersey who'll both agree to pack away the meat dishes AND wear a Red Sox hat!)

We went to the shuk, after I've heard tales about how crowded and nuts it is and -- lo and behold -- it is crowded and nuts! We also went on Friday afternoon, which I hear is the nutsiest time of them all. Of course, nothing goes better with crowded and nuts than 90 degree weather and pushing! So we had a blast.
In all honesty, I kinda thought I'd adore all the crowds and thought LMN would abhor it and, instead, we both did pretty well, but we think that it'll mostly be my job to go there. We've got a few friends who have already offered to take me around during a less hectic time of the week. Once they show me the best spots and I go by myself, I think I'll really like it.

(We learned an important lesson at the shuk. Once you pay for something, TAKE IT. If you leave the olive oil on the counter, no one will chase after you and give it to you and you'll get home and find you have no oil. Alas. We have given tzedakah to the hardworking oil man...)

It is HOT here! Highs in the 90s all week. But don't worry - it's humid too!! I've found myself pining for the sweet chill of Autumn, but, alas, it is not in the cards. But I'm hydrating and wearing sunscreen!

Our apartment is nice, though not exceptional. The landlords are pleasant, which is a rarity in Jerusalem, and we didn't have to search for it nor furnish it, so we're lucky. It has high quality windows which both open and close, air conditioning and heating, good water pressure, sufficient storage space, a comfy couch, and is very very close to many good things we want to be close to. So that's great!
Not so great? Musty twin beds pushed together with twin extra long sheets that don't quite fit. We're going to work on improving this situation.

How am I feeling, you might ask? Pretty good! Right now I'm occupied with the task of learning a new city -- directions, customs, etc, instead of delving in to some deep Zionist mission. I think that's the right thing to do, because I know I love cities and I'm not yet sure how I'll come out on the philosophical/political/religious/spiritual issues yet. I'm not spending time reeling about how every apartment and restaurant has a sukkah, how even the cab drivers are Jewish, and in feeling like I'm in some kind of ancient homeland; I'm just figuring out how to live here. And, regardless of how I feel about the place, if I don't know how the streets connect and where to buy food, I'm no use to anyone!

Also, hydrating takes most of my time; I should also be overcome with deep thought?!

So, how's that for a first post? Let's see how this thing goes!

Yours,
EMN