In the Old City

WWJD?

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Sisters!

Hooray for having sisters!

This is a great article for anyone with sisters! Sisters and Happiness -- Understanding the Connection - NY Times

How do people without sisters feel about it, though?

Pretty

I need more slam poetry in my life.

Travel Advice

Hey world,

I'm very new to traveling on my own. I have a week in January when I could go somewhere. The tentative plan is to go to Paris with a dear friend, but her schedule is tighter than mine. People talk like it's often awesome to fly into one place take fabulous European transit to another place, and then fly back home from there. Maybe I could spend some time in Paris with her and then go elsewhere alone. I might want to do this, but I simply have no idea how to plan such a thing efficiently. How do I go about figuring that out?

Thanks, world!

1000 Words on Ambivalence

It’s been one month. I feel like I’m on the 8th date with some guy who everyone said would be perfect for me. Years of build up. “Oh my goodness! You HAVE to meet this one. He’s just for you!” And now here we are, together at another café, on another walk, taking another bus. I’m not swooning. I even get a bit cranky when he calls.
He’s a little handsy. He orders for me in restaurants. He’s a bit pushy. He doesn’t really like how I dress. And yet I seem to still be on these dates.
Now, don’t get me wrong. He’s not so ugly, though he’s not quite my type. He’s not mean to me – he’s certainly never hit me – but I feel like there’s this aggressiveness to him. While he says I’m right for him, I don’t like how he treats his brothers and it makes me a bit worried about how he’d treat me in the long term. All in all, it’s doesn’t feel like love is in the air.

No, I’m not talking about LMN. (The state of our union is strong.) I’m talking about Israel. While I did have to break up with NYC to be with him, we’ve agreed that we’re still allowed to see other cities while we’re together.

The start to this year has been neither as bad as I feared nor as good as other people seemed to expect. People seem so excited to learn about this year, like it’s an amazing gift to get to spend a year in Israel. Like Israel is this exceptional place that is both the spiritual and ethnic center of our people AND a really fun place to live. It’s like if Constitution Hall, Lexington and Concord, the World Trade Center, Mount Rushmore, and Disney Land were all in Las Vegas.

But I’m just not so sure this is love.

Now, I’ve decided that I get to decide how unhappy I am for this year. Happiness doesn’t have to be a state that either exists or doesn’t exist inside me. So I’m working on it, especially since being happy where I am is one of my strengths. But, ummm, this is going to take some work. With a bunch of effort, I’ve gotten myself up to a pretty solid ambivalence.

I’m trying to figure why people who seem to LOVE Israel do. What’s the A-MAZ-ING part? I’ve heard lots of hubbub about the food. Now, I’m not starving but I don’t get the appeal. I’m thinking that a lot of it has to do with meat and kashrut. If you’re a big meat eater and/or you only eat in kosher restaurants, Israel must be great! There’s all this meat and you can eat anywhere! That’s exceptional freedom.
But I eat out vegetarian anywhere. So the food is not much different than what I can get in Boston. Granted, the falafel is better and there’s all these pastries, but I try to watch my calories and have no gall bladder; how much oily food can I really consume before the thrill is not only gone, but is replaced by deep dissatisfaction? Also, I’m a cheap-ass mofo (technical term), and I just don’t want to spend lots of money eating out all the time.
But EMN, there’s the SHUK! So many fresh vegetables!! Yes. It’s very nice. I’m purchasing them and cooking with them. But is this different from my CSA?

But, EMN, it’s beautiful! The rolling hills, the expansive dessert, the Jerusalem Stone buildings!
Well, while I won’t deny these things exist, they’re not really my cup of tea. Sure, it’s amazing that the desert is sustaining life. Sure, it’s sort of fun to be able to see all these houses in the mountains. Sure, my mind is a bit blown to think about how old this all is. But it’s not my favored aesthetic. I miss the Art Deco skyscrapers in Manhattan and the Painted Lady Victorian houses in Boston. I like seeing grass and not wondering if it’s really appropriate because of all the water it takes. And I’m getting wistful thinking that all the leaves are changing in New England without me. I’ve gone to Beer Sheva three times in the past 5 days and I’m watching all this desert go by. This is why we’re fighting?! I feel like it looks like the surface of the Moon. (Though, I guess if we could sustain mediocre cities on the moon, that would be worth fighting for. Lord knows we’re going to need them…)

But there’s so many Jews, EMN! Isn’t it amazing to be around so many Jews? Ummmm, only sort of. It kinda gives me the willies (another technical term). I’m at a bus stop right now and the wall is covered with posters saying the Rebbe is the messaiah and spraypaint saying that Rav Kahane was right. Being in close proximity to a critical mass of these Jews makes me feel safer?!
Some people talk about how amazing Shabbat is in Jerusalem, but I think I’m least enthused about that day. That’s the day when everything is reserved for being religious. And I’m not sure I like having a day where the Religious people and I lose the secular common ground that we have in the shuk or on the bus. We’ve peeled away the layers of commerce and are left with only our differences -- I’m sorry – our lovely diversity that they want to celebrate with shame and condemnation of my practice.
Sure, I’ve found nice places to daven. I’ve found pits of safety and comradery. But I know I can’t daven in my tallit and tfillin my front yard like I did in Boston. I’m not interested in adding shouting to Shacharit.

I know I could work to change things, and I very well might. But I don’t see why quitting my job, putting my schooling on hold, and leaving my comfortable life was such an exciting prospect. Now I get to have a year to be somewhat uncomfortable while fighting for equality! Is that the A-MAZ-ING experience people have been talking about?

(This post has been sponsored by Socioeconomic Privilege, Cultural Capital, and the letters K, V, E, T, C, and H.)

Getting Better

I'm obsessed with the It Gets Better Project. The videos are captivating.

If I were still an American Studies major, I'd write a thesis on the changing media of support and pride in the beginnings of the AIDS Quilt and the It Gets Better Project.

Love the It Gets Better Project? Post your favorite video in the comments!

Learn from our gay elders!

Ulpan

You know what I've learned in Ulpan today?

I don't have that many siblings.

Israelis and Palestinians both gave up land for the Separation Wall and everyone is suffering. But the idea that it'll create lots of rage and it will bubble up and explode is not a problem, because the wall is blocking. There won't be problems if there's a wall in between.

The American political situation doesn't have any real problems. There's barely any politics there! Everything is easy in America!!

Also some Hebrew.

Morning Musings

-- My spoils from one trip to the shuk. It's good to have a Grandma Cart!

-- I saw a literal cat fight yesterday. There was squealing and flailing and several others ran from across the street for backup. Though I try to not get scared by such things, I'll admit I crossed the street and avoided eye contact.

-- I got to Beer Sheva all by myself! After meetings during the day, my boss drove me back to Jerusalem but he didn't have time to drive me home. So he dropped me in a part of town I didn't know and I walked myself home without a map. It was a fantastically empowering time to gain my own bearings over the city. Total distance from there to the friend's house for dinner? About 4.3 miles.

View Larger Map

-- Walking alone, with my camera, really helps me get control of a city. It's how I learned to love New York. I would decide to take the evening to wander home from whatever office I was at -- 28th and 7th, 18th and 5th, 50th and Madison, 50th and 5th, 98th and Madison -- and just find my way to the UWS. Granted in NYC it's not as much a question of If I'd get there, but How. That's how I learned most of Central Park. Just me and my camera.

-- I'm taking Ulpan classes. They're one-on-one Hebrew classes, 3 hours a day for ten days. It's the more intensive, more expensive option, but I think it will actual produce Hebrew knowledge! I impressed myself by starting in level 3+. When the grading sheet only goes up to 4, that's not bad!

While I've been really hesitant to speak with people I know in Hebrew, when I'm in a shorter term conversation (asking directions, buying food, etc), I'm getting much better at using only Hebrew. And when my very sweet teacher speaks to me in Hebrew, I'm right there with her! So let's all raise our glasses to me being awesome at Hebrew three weeks from now.

-- From a garden store in Baka. Close up, cacti and coral have a lot in common. I'm looking forward to the family scuba diving vacation this December.

-- I've still got lots of feelings from my trip to Bethlehem, but I'm not sure I'm going to post them here. This might be too public a forum for such a contentious topic.

I will say that I wish the Israel narrative my Jewish Day Schools taught me had discussed Palestinians. Do schools now address this or are they still invisible? It's really embarrassing to think of. It's as if you could go all the way through American high school and never learn about Native Americans. How is that an appropriate education? Especially once you're at the high school level and are being challenged to deal with issues of moral complexity and discomfort; why didn't I learn multiple sides of the issues?

-- When I think Obama, I certainly think of pizza, falafel, and supermarkets!

-- Listening to WBUR streaming on the radio does amazing things for my blood pressure. It's a slice of home and comfort.

But please stop giving weather reports for Boston. I'd kill for 45 and rainy by this point. I'm actually deeply relieved that it's only going to be in the 80's today.

And for those of you who want to tell me that I moved to the Middle East and this is normal, I tell you that the Israelis I've been speaking to (since I've got coworkers and all) say this is deeply unseasonable.

-- Really?! Mickey Mouse?

-- I'm going to mail our absentee ballots today. MAKE SURE TO VOTE IN THE MIDTERMS!! There's a ton of kooks running for office and some of them might be on your ballot! I know the Democrats are a bunch of lilly livered wimps, but they're our only chance at progress. If we lose the majorities in Congress we're stuck for years.

-- Luxury in Israel. The Waldorf currently has no interior walls.

-- Was I supposed to wait until after noon to eat ice cream?? Oops!

-- I asked a merchant at the shuk if I could have 1/4 of a bunch of basil. He looked at me like I was nuts and then gave it to me. What did he charge? Nothing!

-- I had a lovely conversation with a Palestinian man who was baking at a bakery yesterday. He offered me his phone number. When I realized that he hadn't recently written it down and just kept the slip in his pocket to offer, I said No, thank you.

-- And now I'll leave you with one more photo.

-- How could I resist? Eggplant Man was adorable.

Far 2 Legit

Ladies and gentlemen,

This woman has dressed up for your viewing pleasure.

Yes. You are seeing ankle-length harem pants with cargo pockets worn without irony at the end of the workday.

But don't worry about them being unflattering. They have pinstripes. Oh so slimming.

Walled In

I have loved New York City. Of all of its charms, one that hit me most deeply was its buildings. The skyscrapers vertically proclaiming hubris and ambition were like Cupid's arrows to me. I saw them as brilliantly decorated, meticulously planned vessels for efficient layering of potential. Each floor was another set of people, each with a life and a dream. The towers, stacked neatly down the avenues, felt like gift wrapped packages to humanity; our futures lay budding inside.

With an outlook like this, it's no wonder I loved walls. The solid slabs reaching into the heavens are a crucial conveyor of floors and ceilings. Without the floors, you can't stack the people. So when I would look up in Manhattan and see the sky carved into neat rows and boxes, I'd smile thinking of all the benefits these walls gave us.

Now I'm not so sure. I've just seen a wall that's energetically decorated by the masses and dividing up the sky in straight lines, but it has brought me the gift of fear instead of excitement. The wall separating Palestinians from Israelis in the West Bank is the opposite of all that I loved in New York. What cruelty is it to build a wall with no floors? A wall that does not support people? A wall that prevents expansion, creatively, and progress, instead of bolstering it?

I'm surprised that a wall like this -- a wall that does not hold a building, does not support stories -- seems to block out the sky stronger than any ceiling could.

Musings

-- I can't believe it's Hammer Time in Jerusalem. How many harem pants do I need to see before I break out my mid-90's moves?

-- Streaming NPR while at home makes me feel much calmer. I'm not up to reading the Israeli news yet because I don't want to get too furious too soon.

-- EMN, what happened to your face? Your lip is puffy.

Well, I was poking my head into a coffee shop. The plate glass door had been propped open, so I just stuck my face in. Before I knew it, my face collides with the doorframe! Apparently a man biking down the sidewalk was trying to dodge the door and the sukkah and simply couldn't do both. So he knocked the door shut onto my head. And this is how I came to deeply connect with the door frame. Luckily, the swelling went down significantly and is pretty much gone.

-- I figured out how to make the ants go away. Composting!! Now that there's no food in our trash, we have many fewer ants. Maybe the product I sprayed in the corners, DeBugger Effective, had something to do with it too.

-- My computer is still broken, so I have to use LMN's. While it's annoying, I've boiled down the feelings to being upset about sharing. Really, EMN?! You can't just share?

I'm learning...I'm learning...

-- I still like seeing all the cats here. That's how I know I'm not a real Jerusalemite. About half the cats look like my childhood pet, so that makes me happy. But I can't tell if it was a baby or a cat wailing on my block for the past ten minutes. In Jerusalem, I'm not sure either species is domesticated.

-- If I lived in this climate and wore that much clothing, I'd be angry and territorial too. "Don't come near me! Don't touch me! Don't even go near somewhere I might want to go later! AARRGHH!"

(I think the key to the peace process is little less tznius, some ice cream, and a massage.)

-- The It Gets Better Project is amazing. Let's give bullied kids (queer and not) some hope! http://www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject

I'm having trouble avoiding watching the videos all day. They're so powerful!

It's a beggar! It's a drunk! NO! It's Corner Man!

This is the ongoing saga of Corner Man.

Our fearless protagonists, EMN and LMN, have just moved to their posh enclave in Jerusalem. During their first day, they were exploring the main drag which was in the throes of Sukkot preparation. As on many corners, on Our Corner was a man selling date palm branches to put on top of people's sukkot. He was just standing there, hocking his wares, when a fellow from across the street rushed over carrying a bucket of soapy water and he threw the entire contents onto the legs of this salesman. SPLASH! A bit of a yelling, some gestures, and the merchant vacated the corner.

The splashing assailant has not left that corner since. And that's how he earned the name Corner Man!

Since then, EMN and LMN have seen Corner Man in many poses. Sometimes he's smoking. Sometimes he's drinking coffee. Sometimes he has headphones and sometimes earplugs. He's never schnorring for money. He never seems intoxicated. He has nothing to sell. What does he do?

EMN's favorite, of course, was when Corner Man was across the street sawing the legs off a handsome upholstered chair. It soon became clear that he was using the amputee chair as a bench reinforced. He spent the rest of the day sitting in his chair on his bench.

Corner Man has noticed EMN noticing him. And today he could not take the romantic tension any longer. Corner Man has confessed his love!

(Now, EMN's Hebrew is not spectacular, but Jewish Day School certainly taught how to say, "I love you.")

What else will happen in the ongoing saga? Will Corner Man defile more furniture? Will he demonstrate an occupation? Will he confess his love to another woman or stay true to our heroine? Stay tuned...