Asara B'Tevet Redux

So, today is Asara B'Tevet, when we fast in memory of the siege of Jerusalem by the Assyrians (I think). But that doesn't really jive with me. So today I'm fasting in solidarity with people whose homes and cities are under threat.

Off to see the renewable energy initiatives in South Hebron with JStreet now!

Thinking Positively

I've decided to make a list of things I like here. It can never hurt to count one's blessings, right?

The tofu is so firm and browns so nicely

Flowers are still in bloom

I don't have to explain to my boss about Jewish holidays or use vacation days to observe them

Bus drivers saying "shavua tov" on Sunday morning

New, amazing friends

Strawberries are in season in December

Giant salads

I'm getting shockingly little harassment for wearing a Red Sox kippah and pants during davening

It's no longer so hot that I'm confident I will kill someone

Cats everywhere!

My blanket is super snuggly

Walking in the middle of side streets

Fruit trees in the city

My body is an average size and shape

Getting paid in dollars and grocery shopping in shekels

Relatively short distances between very different climates and scenery

Giant bottle recycling cages on the street

AND

Lego gangsters in Tel Aviv!!

Picture this

Good morning, blogland. I'm in my freezing apartment in what passes for winter in Jerusalem, and I've decided it's time to share some photos! There's lots of intense feelings about politics and religion swirling in my head, but I need to sit with them and decide what's improper to put online. In the mean time, here's a bunch of pictures from my travels up north.

Caesaria

Caesaria is an ancient city on the coast of the Mediterranean. Here's your history lesson. I'm just here for the pretty pictures.

Fishing with ruins in the background.

From an ancient doorway to looking at modern smokestacks. I love me some ironic juxtapositions!

It's the Mediterranean!

Mediterranean: now with more umbrellas!

We were in Caesaria while the fire was burning in the Carmel. This is the smoke from it. We were about 45 minutes away on Day 2 of the fire. Don't ask if I could smell it; my nose is now purely ornamental.

Tel Aviv

We went to Tel Aviv twice in one week and, let me tell you, I loved it. It's a city! With tall buildings! And dirt! And without an oppressive atmosphere of piety and violence! There is more Tel Aviv in my future.

Jerusalem doesn't seem to have sculptures or much public art and it's starting to make me crazy. So when I saw this upside down guy on the entrance to a hotel, I squealed.

I AM BICYCLE. HEAR ME ROAR!

I have some very strong feelings about Israelis and their nasty littering habit. Here's a planter on the deck of a seaside restaurant. Why do people need to put their glasses in the dirt and why doesn't the staff take them out? Grossness.

"Would you eat your dog? Meat = Murder!" Love it!

This cat is a fucking ninja and bent that fence with one paw.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." But in Yiddish!

Speaking of Inigo Montoya... Dueling messiahs!

The Holocaust memorial in the Diaspora Museum. Kinda intense, right? (Sorry it's not funny.)

And now we get to see my explorations with iPhoto. Here's the sunset down the street.

And the very same sunset over the Sea, with a hansom cab and a fountain. I'm pretending that the palm trees are oak trees and the Sea is Central Park. It's good to be back on 59th and 5th..

Holiday Sampler

Chappy Channukkah everybody!

In Jerusalem, the streets are covered in Hanuka decorations and yet it's still 85 degrees out. Amazing.

Miss You Most (at Christmas Time)

You might say to me, EMN, what do you miss this Holiday Season most of all? It's your first winter away from the Northeast US urban centers, and you must be feeling out of sorts. What is it? Is it the Christmas carols? Is it the shopping? The snow? The ice skating? Being told by gentiles to "have a happy holiday" when it sounds like, "I hope you don't feel bad that you're Jewish this time of year..."?

Honestly, dear readers, this time of year, when there's donuts and latkes in every store, what I miss most of all is my gall bladder.

Jews Write the Best Songs

I would now like to publish, with permission, a song my dad wrote me in a sixth grade lunch note. To the famous tune of "Oh Chanuka..."

Oh Chanukka, Oh Chanukah,

A festival of greed.

We give our children presents --

Nothing that they need.

Gather 'round the table,

I'll give you a toy.

It's made out of plastic

For the girls and boys.

One Barbie.

Two Barbies.

And Kens on into the night.

Some are electronic,

And some are chronical-

ly broken, but that's alright!

Some are electronic,

And some are chronical-

ly broken, but that's alright...

Did you hear the one-

My favorite Hannukah joke is as follows.

Moses is taken to see modern day America by Rabbi Akiva. They come to town during Channukah. Moses sees all these chanukiot in windows, dreidels in stores, signs everywhere celebrating the holiday! "Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah!"

He's amazed! He and Rabbi Akiva talk about how this is such a minor holiday and the Jews are celebrating with such pride!

He exclaims with joy, "If this is what they do for Chanukkah, I can't wait to see Shavuot!"

But seriously folks

Steve Martin is my personal prophet for this holiday season. And he has a special message for us about the true meaning of Christmas.

Funny videos

(My apologies for the poor video quality. Who would have thought NBC would have such strong copyright enforcement? It took me forever to find a link to steal!)

Bulky

It seems like Israelis love to pile things. New things. Old things. Heavy things. Fragile things. Things for sale. Things for trash. It doesn't matter!

Piles, stacks, rows, and sets of things everywhere!

SAND!

CONCRETE!

Maybe Ikea's bookshelves aren't actually so high quality...

Eat more kale!

Be careful!

Piles of Yiddin!

Timing

I've figured it out! In Israel, 1 minute means 10 seconds. 5 minutes means 2 minutes. 20 minutes means 45 minutes. 3 hours means 2 days. And tomorrow means next week.

Anyone else feeling a bit disoriented?

Wrapped Up

I've been looking around this city and wondering something. Is there any vine imagery in Judaism? Not grapes. Vines.

I think vines could be a beautiful metaphor. They start from just a nub and they weave, wend, and wind their way around whatever they're near.

May you be like a vine, concentrating on the journey, beautifying whatever you touch, and surrounding yourself with your roots.

May you be a vine on the Eitz Chayim of Torah, always wrapping around the tradition, gaining strength, and finding new vantage points along your path.

Is there any of this in the tradition? Or do I have a new idea? (I'd be shocked if I did.)

May you provide shelter and shade on others' journeys home.